The Fast Track to the BBL

“You see row Z? Ya mon, that’s where it’s going!”(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In a repeat of the Olympics, Jamaican 100m bridesmaid Yohan Blake is following in the footsteps of the arrogant yet likable Jamaican showpony Usain Bolt. The pair are both well on their way to organising themselves contracts in the lucrative BBL competition in a move that has sparked much excitement around the event.

Bolt’s credentials have already been demonstrated in his dismissal of cricket juggernaut Chris Gayle with a delivery that can only be described as ‘dreamy’ due to the fact that Chris Gayle must have been daydreaming in order to be dismissed by it. Stuart Clark’s eloquence describes Usain Bolt as “a great showman and entertainer but he can’t play cricket.” On the other hand, Blake is an unconfirmed 90mph fast bowling machine, although rumour has it he doesn’t let go of the ball and instead powers across the pitch in order to get the ball to reach such a pace. Rumour also has it he has a rather annoying no ball problem as a result of his unorthodox bowling style.

John Inverarity has cautioned those involved in the BBL that they are running the risk of making the BBL a novelty event. Saying he’s a bit behind the times is like saying WG Grace is a recently retired hero or that Hitler’s dynasty has finally reached its point of doom. At the rate that novelty-cricket is developing, 5 years from now the resuscitated corpse of the mildly destructive Hitler could be bowling off-tweakers to the slightly antagonistic Bob Mugabe in the Kazakhstan Premier League.

In other news, that pest that is the Barclays Premier League is back and will be trying its hardest to steal the limelight from the tussle between South Africa and England. I feel less dirty using the term “England” now that they aren’t fielding the…enigmatic Saffa, Kevin Pietersen. Or does the Andy Murray argument not apply to Skunky?

KP must have a hard time watching two teams that he currently despises fight it out whilst he sits on the sideline stroking his ego like a supervillain strokes his cat.

“Come on boy, I need inspiration. What can I do to earn myself some attention?”

“Meowwww!”

“Move to Australia you say? Hmmm…..”